Has life thrown a GIANT curve ball at you lately?
This is what becoming a caregiver to an aging parent feels like.
There are so many questions that you don’t really have all the answers to.
How long is this going to take? How is this going to affect my relationships? Is this going to impact my full-time job? Do I need professional help?
And the list goes on and on and ON (sight)…
At 35, I DECIDED to become my Dad’s primary caregiver.
This was a DECISION I MADE for my own sake and his.
I wasn’t forced to do this, I was not pushed by my family to do this, I CHOOSE to do it.
It is easy to understand that for many people this may not be the case. Some people feel like there is no other option.
I decided not to put myself into a “victim” mode. I understood, after a few life experiences, that my life is controlled by my decisions not by my circumstances.
You see, care-giving takes a lot from your emotional state and brings up a bunch of negative feelings.
Guilt, overwhelm, anger, frustration, sadness, depression, even self-destructive behaviors.
I consider myself lucky. If my Dad’s disease had manifested 5 years ago, it would have been a completely different scenario for both of us.
This happened when it needed to happen. God and the universe work in mysterious ways.
It doesn’t mean that life has been all nice and happy.
Oh, no…let me be very clear. I have CRIED A LOT. I have felt pissed, I’ve been angry. I FEEL all those things, and then I LET THEM GO!
They bring nothing good to the table and my new reality.
They are just emotions coming up that I need to acknowledge and let them pass.
I love my father, I love him very very much. I was NOT READY to bury him.
I’m not being dramatic, you can ask him where he would have been if I didn’t went back to Venezuela in October of 2017 to get him out (you can read more on that here).
He’ll tell you: 6 feet under, all of you would have already drank a cup of coffee in my name.
This is something I heard him say repeatedly to his siblings, cousins and family over the phone about a month after staying with me.
What is one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned through this whole process:
DO IT WITH LOVE!
If you are coming from a place of guilt or victim-hood, it is not going to be a pleasant experience for neither you nor your loved one.
Appreciate the good moments. Be thankful always because that person you love is still with us.
I have so much more to share with you about my journey of not only becoming a caregiver but also of being determined to Healing my Dad.
Slowly, I will share this with all of you.
Cook Dance Love Live has evolved. My new lifestyle has showed me what is really important.
I COOK as a way to show my Dad how much I love him and to heal him.
I DANCE through this life situation with as much grace as possible, sometimes I do step on people’s toes, but always with the best intentions.
I LOVE the journey as it is the only way I am allowing myself to see it.
I LIVE for this, I feel this in my gut.
For now, please remember, you don’t have to go through this journey alone. If you need help, please ask for it.
And if you want to talk to someone who has been in your shoes (aka ME), feel free to save 30-minutes aside and let’s chat. You can reach out to me here.